Planet Cataclysm

the human experience resulting in great loss and misfortune

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Have a Safe Trip

This goes out to Nigs the Ninja: Have a great time in China and I'll see you in two weeks time.

Everyone else: Sorry guys but I'M COMING BACK!!!

See you all Monday.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Check Out My New Baby



She drives beautifully. The engine purrs like a kitten. The acceleration is breathe taking. But she uses petrol like no ones business. I took her out yesterday to do a few errands and she used up half a tank of petrol. Still, you can fit three bodies into the boot and still seat five in the car comfortably. Perfect for a growing family or your typical gangster.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

So I drove today for the first time in two years. Oh the power. It was fantastic! After getting my confidence back I decided to rent a car for Tuesday and Wednesday to do all those last minute Christmas present purchases. So if anyone really wants something for Christmas, now is the time to ask. It doesn't mean I'll get it for you but you can ask and hope anyway.

How has life in Canada been? I'm glad you asked. I love my family very much but I can't wait to get home. I forgot how loud everyone is. I've had one long headache since the day I got here. I'm use to living alone with my husband. Here there is never less than five people at home. The other day there were ten of us at the dinner table. And THIS IS NORMAL!!! It's a good thing I get back on a Friday because at least that way I have a whole weekend to recover before heading back to work.

Anyway, I'm missing all of you and can't wait to see you again. I leave you with this puzzle: Can you spot the Turkey?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Bring it on!

I've been here two days and I've put on 2 stone! Every chance they get, they stuff food down my mouth! If I keep this up, they will have to widen the doors at work.

Message for Rhub: Start putting on some weight because if you don't, you'll freeze that non-ass of yours when you become my full-time nanny in Canada.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

In Canada

Just so you don't go mad from missing me, I thought I would update you on how my trip has been going so far. I pre-booked seats on both my flight to Canada and my flight back. I told the lady at Globespan (the company I booked my flight with) that I need a little bit more room because I can't handle small places. I paid an additional 14 pounds and thought stupidly that I would get the seat I requested. I got on the plane and found that I was booked in the middle seat of the middle row. I freaked! I begged the lady next to me to switch and thanks to 6F (I was booked to 6E), I had a lovely flight (excluding the 5 month old in the seat behind me who screamed the whole way).

My old place is exactly as I left it 2 years ago. Mum didn't even change the date on the calendar in my room. It was like walking into Miss. Havisham's room without all the dust and wedding stuff. But it didn't seem to bother me all that much. After having traveled for more than 20 hours, I would have slept anywhere.

My mum didn't recognize me right away. She thought I was one of my brother's girlfriends for a brief moment. Then when she realized it was me, she automatically figured my husband and I has had a fight. My dad, on the other hand, said "Great! Another mouth to feed!" (jokingly, of course....I think).

Every chance my mum gets, she stuffs food down my mouth. I'm too thin for her liking. Two years ago, she was telling my husband not to buy me chocolate because I was too chubby, being a whole stone heavier. I can honestly say I will never understand my mum.

This message is for Rhub: To answer your question about the flight, please see above. And just so you don't go mental and kill all the smelly people at work on a mass rampage...you read too much and don't pay for lunch often enough. Hopefully that was enough of an insult to keep you sane. Keep posted for updated insults.